I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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