Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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