pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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