I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
