she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize