we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
