I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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