Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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