She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
