it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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