she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
