Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
