I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
