Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
