he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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