ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
