When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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