the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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