Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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