I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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