That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i believe in u and ur pee
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
