Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
