Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize