I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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