omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize