I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
