omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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