dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
