I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
