I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
