I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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