I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
