You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize