i already hear my dad disowning me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
