But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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