Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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