4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
