dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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