So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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