Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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