My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
