it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
