Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
