Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
