My cat gives me a boner
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
