i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize