I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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