i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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