Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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