I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize