I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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