hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
