I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
