Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
