I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
