I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
