This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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