Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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