he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I will pee on everything he values.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I need to sanitize my soul.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
