if you like me you must not know who I am
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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