It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
