she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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