just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
