His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
